Human beings are fallible creature.

I am guilty for what i have done to myself. At least for the past two months. I have accepted logically that i am guilty of feeding my ego and boy it has made me suffered.

I felt such a snob. Disgusting, really. My mind has not been healthy. You see for the past two months i have been looking for jobs that only for my standard, i would look for my standard only and nothing less. And i t adamantly think i am the best and a job considering low is nothing i should touch. Now, i feel embarrassed. So shameful, i cant face myself in the mirror.

I met one of my relatives and we spoke for a long time. She has made me realized a whole lot of things that opens me up to the world of what should be and what should not be.

This meaning, mixing a want, desire and a need into one but we tend to forget the reality of things. It's like banging your head on the wall. The head represents your thoughts and your wishes and the wall, the reality. Ever thought of that?

I felt inferior but i also do so cause i want o make someone happy.

The mistake - Feeding my ego. No matter where and what you work as, you are bound to be made fun off. The CEOs and CFOs of today are not what they are if not for mopping the floor of the kithen back then or wiping tables and cleaning up after others after they have finished their meals or even wiping and cleaning and bowing to others to clean shoes.

A part of my ego is also insecurities as what if i dont make enough for this little part-time job i have? or the money is not enough for me to buy the things i want. People tend to think of 'Wants' rather than 'Needs"

It is a tough world out there. Grab whatever you can, Be nice and Kind but be Firm and also never miss out on opportunities that can help you grow! -Which means, everything in this world, no matter how small and demeaning someone thought it might be, it is a learning experience for the betterment and to make you something in the future, to feed yourself and pay the bills.

Best Regards,

Hanz